Oh Baby!
by ichilover3
Summary: While fighting a Hollow, Ichigo and Rukia find a baby that looks strangely like-them? How will they handle being suddenly thrust into parenthood? Ichiruki, implied Hitsukarin. R&R, pretty please!
1. Chapter 1

Hello again! I must say, this story is different from all of the others that I have written. It's concept is a little strange, but I like it.

Thanks for reading! I would appreciate it if you read my other stories, _Frosted Dreams_ and _Oblivious Love_. If you love Ichiruki (_Oblivious Love_) or Hitsukarin(_Frosted Dreams_), you'll love these.

I don't own Bleach. If I did, Ichigo and Hitsugaya would be my man slaves.

* * *

Rukia lay on Ichigo's bed, staring at the ceiling. She turned on her side. She turned completely around, her head now facing the end of the bed. She rolled on her stomach, and then back on her back again. "Ichigo," she said, lifting her foot up to eclipse the light on the ceiling.

From his desk, Ichigo grunted. He didn't bother looking up from the trig homework he was trying to complete.

"Ichigo," Rukia called again, wiggling her toes to watch the slivers of light dance. "Ichigo, I'm bored."

"Why don't you find something to do, then?" Ichigo turned to look at her. She was already in her Chappy pajamas and for some reason was holding her leg up in the air.

Rukia sat up then. "Baka! If had something to do I wouldn't be bored!"

Ichigo's temper began to flare. "And what do you want me to do about it?!"

She glared at him, but then smiled when an idea struck her. "Ishida told me that you knew how to play a really fun card game."

Ichigo sighed. He played a lot of cards when his sisters were growing up, and knew how to play pretty much every game in the book. He glanced back at his homework, realizing that escape was futile. "Fine," he finally said, watching her scramble for the deck. "Which one do you want me to teach you?"

"Strip poker," Rukia replied innocently.

Ichigo's jaw dropped as he felt his face heat up.

"What?" Rukia demanded, noticing the look on his face. "Ishida said it would be fun."

Ichigo was debating the best way to murder the Quincy when both his Hollow badge and Rukia's phone went off. "Let's go," he said, happy to have a distraction. Slipping out of his body and deciding against putting Kon inside it, he tucked it in the bed.

Rukia took out her soul candy. "I still want to know how to play," she warned before popping one. She was thrust out of her body. "Pyon," it said.

Ichigo shuddered. For some reason, Chappy liked to put him in headlocks. It didn't matter that he had at least a good eighty pounds on Rukia; Chappy could always hold him down. She really creeped him out.

"Chappy," Rukia ordered, "go to bed."

"Okay, pyon," Chappy said happily. She started to climb into the bed with Ichigo's body, but Rukia ordered her into Karin and Yuzu's room. One could just imagine the ruckus Isshin would make if he found their bodies like that.

"Let's go," Rukia told Ichigo, jumping out the window. He followed.

They had run about a mile when they saw the Hollow. "There it is," Ichigo stated.

"No!" Rukia replied sarcastically, unsheathing her zanpakuto.

"I was just saying," Ichigo retorted, feeling slightly stupid.

Rukia ignored him. "_Mai_, Sode no Shirayuki." Released, the zanpakuto was the most beautiful in all of Soul Society, and the sight of it and its wielder always amazed Ichigo. Rukia caught him staring and just smiled smugly. "Let's go, baka," she commanded, running into the darkness. Ichigo followed, slightly embarrassed at being caught.

The closer they got to the Hollow, the louder crying became. Terror laced Rukia's violet eyes when she realized that the Hollow was after a baby. "_Tsugi no mai_," she said quickly when the Hollow reached for the child. "_Haruken_." Shards of ice shot from her zanpakuto and pierced the Hollow. It roared loudly and then disintegrated.

Ichigo watched the whole thing with awe. It didn't matter how many times he saw Rukia fight, it still shocked him how beautiful it was. Her movements, like the names implied, looked like a dance. The best he could do was clumsily hack away at things.

Rukia had run to comfort the baby, and was holding him and speaking softly to him. He was trembling. "It's okay now," she soothed, holding him tight. "Ichigo," she called softly.

Ichigo stood next to her. He understood why the Hollow attack had shaken her so much—Rukia herself had died when she was a baby. He felt the sudden urge to touch her, and he awkwardly placed a hand on her shoulder. Suddenly, reality smacked him in the face. "Rukia, you're holding him."

"So?" She was no longer worried and her attitude was back.

Ichigo looked at her incredulously. "And he's looking at me."

Rukia was about to question his intelligence when the full weight of what he said hit her. They were in spirit form. She shouldn't be able to touch this baby, and he shouldn't be able to see them. "That's strange," she muttered at Ichigo. For the first time, both of them fully looked at the baby.

He had stopped trembling, but still was attached to Rukia. His little fists fiercely held on to her clothes. He looked about one year old, give or take a couple months. What startled them both was his appearance. "He looks like _you_, Ichigo," Rukia stated in wonder. She managed to detach the baby from herself and held him up to next to Ichigo to get a better comparison. He had a full head of bright orange hair, and even wore a slight scowl.

Ichigo was more than a little weirded out. The baby's eyes were an identical match to Rukia's, the only part of him that didn't seem to resemble Ichigo. Two pairs of violet eyes looked at him, waiting for him to deny Rukia's statement. "Whatever," he said with forced annoyance. "Let's go. We should try to find his parents."

By then it was close to three in the morning and no one was on the streets. Rukia scoffed. "There's no one here, and even if there was, they wouldn't be able to see us. I'm taking Ichigo Jr. with us."

Ichigo snorted. "Ichigo Jr.? Goddammit, Rukia, you can't go around naming other people's kids."

Rukia gasped, covering the baby's ears. "_Young ears_," she hissed.

Ichigo looked at her in disbelief. "He can't understand me anyway." The baby looked at him with wide eyes, a little drool in the corner of his mouth. He reached his arms out to Ichigo.

Ichigo never could say no to Rukia, and he knew right away that it would be bad that the infant had her eyes. They were looking at him expectantly, with a look he had seen on Rukia—complete trust, and something else he couldn't identify. With a sigh, Ichigo lifted the child from Rukia's arms and started walking home.

Rukia smiled at them. Orange on orange. She began to follow. "Ichiro."

Ichigo turned his head with difficulty, as the baby had fallen asleep in the crook of his neck. "What?" he asked softly, trying not to wake him.

"His name. It's Ichiro." Rukia had caught up to him, and looked up at them.

Inwardly, Ichigo shook his head. Oh well. At least it was better than Ichigo Jr.

* * *

A/N: Just a cute little intro. Next chapter, the fun begins!

Please read and review. I live off of reviews. Seriously. I eat them.


	2. Chapter 2

Hello again! Thanks for continuing to read. Even though I only got a few reviews, I love getting feedback. I would appriciate it if everyone continued reviewing! The mystery continues this chapter--the story unfolds!

I don't own Bleach. If I did, Renji would find a significant other. Even though I love him to pieces, he can't have Rukia.

* * *

"D—y."

_What was that?_ Wondered Ichigo's subconscious. _Probably the old man. Doesn't he ever let me sleep?!_

"Da—y."

_It's freaking Saturday, dammit! Shut the hell up!_

_Smack._ Ichigo was awakened by a hard slap to his face. He looked around wildly, ready to kick his dad's ass, but he was nowhere to be seen.

"Daddy!"

It was Ichiro. He was sitting up in the bed next to Ichigo, apparently the one who had hit him. The night before, Ichigo had laid the sleeping boy down on his bed and slept next to him, but Ichiro was wide awake now.

Ichigo looked at the boy, startled. "You can talk?" Ichiro just stared at him with familiar eyes. "I'm not your daddy," Ichigo whispered, mostly trying to convince himself. "Don't worry, we'll look for your parents today."

The baby had a very serious look on his face, and seemed to understand Ichigo completely. Suddenly, Ichiro's eyes widened, and he pointed behind Ichigo. "Daddy. Mommy."

Ichigo turned, only to see Rukia standing there in her Chappy pajamas, her eyes sparkling. "Come to mommy!" She rushed over and picked him up, placing multiple kisses on his cute little forehead.

Ichigo was aghast. "Rukia, you are not his mother!"

She snorted. "I know that, baka."

"Why are you encouraging him?" Ichigo got out of the bed and stood in front of her.

The irony of it all infuriated Rukia. She couldn't just say that she had dreamed about this, that she had dreamed about her and Ichigo and their kids. Those times she had woken up confused and embarrassed, not really sure where the dream had come from. It's not like she _liked_ Ichigo or anything like that, so the dreams were strange. But now that it seemed she wasn't dreaming, that she held a mini Ichigo in her arms, Rukia wanted to play house for a little while.

Ichiro tugged on her hair, and Rukia squashed the tiny urge to cry. She was a Kuchiki, and Kuchikis didn't cry.

* * *

"…and when we went outside, there he was in the middle of the street," Rukia finished, wiping the corner of her eyes with a handkerchief. "We couldn't just leave him there."

"No, no, Rukia-chan," Yuzu said, tears running down her face. "Dad, we have to let him stay here!"

"I was thinking the same thing, Yuzu," Isshin cried, hugging his daughter tightly.

_My family's full of idiots_, Ichigo thought, rolling his eyes. He continued feeding Ichiro, who was sitting in the family high chair.

Rukia caught Ichigo's eye and gave him a grin and a thumbs-up. _No one else notices that this looks vaguely familiar,_ Ichigo thought to himself.

"Ah, Masaki!" Isshin wailed, throwing himself at the poster that almost covered an entire wall, "We finally have a grandchild! I knew one day Ichigo would make a move on Rukia-chan! Just think, while we all were sleeping—"

His voice was cut off as Ichigo kicked him in the head. "He's not ours," he yelled at him, "weren't you listening? We found him outside."

"Masaki!" Isshin yelled between beatings, "Ichigo's denying he's the father! Our poor third-daughter Rukia-chan! Oh, the shame!"

"Shut UP!" Ichigo yelled, chasing Isshin around the room. Ichiro giggled at the spectacle, clapping his hands.

"That's enough, you guys," Yuzu complained in vain, "can't we all have a nice meal for once?"

Rukia had watched Ichigo feed the baby, and now she mimicked him, somehow surprised when Ichiro ate what was put in front of his mouth.

Karin was watching Rukia. "You know," she said, her eyes on Ichiro, "he looks just like Ichi-nii."

Rukia wiped Ichiro's mouth. She made no sign that she had heard her, and instead ordered Ichigo to give him a bath.

* * *

"We've asked everyone, even the police, and no one's missing a baby," Ichigo snapped, not at anyone in particular. It seemed that Ichiro had dropped from the sky.

"Calm down," Rukia responded, pushing the stroller. It was an old one that the Kurosakis had in storage. "I'm sure that someone will come looking for him. He's just so cute," she cooed down at Ichiro.

"Da-daddy," he gurgled, looking expectantly at Ichigo. When Ichigo did not respond, he continued to call. "Daddy, da, daddy,da,da,da."

"Ichigo!" Rukia fumed, kicking him hard in the shin. "Would you just answer him already?!"

"I'm not his dad," Ichigo moped, but he leaned down to Ichiro's eye level anyway. "What's up?"

He screwed up his face, as if he had a whole life story to tell, which he probably did. Finally, after going through several sounds, one seemed to make sense. "Tad."

"Tad? Who's Tad?" Ichigo asked Rukia. She shrugged, but both looked when Ichiro pointed at someone.

"Sado?" Rukia stated.

"_Chad_," Ichigo said, realization dawning.

"Hey Ichigo," Chad greeted, looking a little puzzled as to why they were carting a baby around. He nodded at Rukia.

"Tad, Tad, Tad!" Ichiro squealed, reaching his arms out to Chad. Chad hesitated, but picked up Ichiro anyway. Ichiro was smiling, making little baby noises.

"A Hollow was attacking him," Rukia said, trying to answer Chad's unanswered questions.

"Ichigo," Chad bellowed.

"I know, I know." Ichigo scratched his head in frustration. "I don't know why he looks like me."

Chad was silent for a moment, listening to the song Ichiro seemed to be "singing." "Are you sure he's not yours?" he asked suddenly.

Ichigo took a step back. "Hell no!" he exclaimed, flushing a little. He pointed at Rukia. "With_ her_?"

Rukia's head snapped towards him. "What's that supposed to mean?!"

Ichigo gulped, realizing his mistake too late. His pride, however, would not allow him to back down. Stupid pride. "I meant…we would never do…_that_."

"Oh really? It sounded more like you would never do _that_ with _me_," Rukia seethed, shouting up at him.

"What's your problem? You want to do _that_?" Ichigo shouted down at her. With him bending over (a lot) and her standing on her toes, they were pretty much in each other's faces.

"Well, I'd like to be given a choice. Not that I'd do _that_ with _you_!" She was about a second away from making sure he could _never_ have kids.

Chad politely coughed, making them suddenly remember they had an audience. They looked at him, obviously embarrassed.

"Maybe you should go to Urahara-san's," Chad said finally, reluctantly placing Ichiro back in his stroller. Chad loved cute things, and this one was just plain adorable.

Rukia brightened. "That's a great idea. We should head over there now. I'm sure—"

"Uh-oh," Ichiro interrupted.

"Uh-oh? What do you mean 'uh-oh'?" Rukia went to the front of the stroller and kneeled down to reach Ichiro's eye level.

Ichiro twisted his face, then looked at Rukia. "Mommy. Uh-oh."

Rukia was still puzzled when she smelled it. "Ichigo! Emergency! Something is wrong with this child!"

Ichigo sighed. "Rukia, it's just a dirty diaper. I'm sure we have clean ones at the clinic."

Rukia had already started pushing the stroller. Ichigo said goodbye to Chad.

* * *

A/N: Next chapter, boobs and a grade-school kid appear. Oh dear.


	3. Chapter 3

Hello again! Thanks for continuing to read. Your reviews have been fabulous! Special thanks to **Neko.Writer** and **LithiumRukia**; your words really make me feel proud. Everyone, please continue to review, it makes my day.

This story is finally starting to progress. Okay, here we go!

Oh, and I don't own Bleach. If I did, Inoue wouldn't ignore Ishida so much. Poor Ishida.

* * *

"I think it moved," Rukia whispered, peeking through her fingers.

"Rukia, it's just baby shit." Ichigo smirked, putting the new diaper on securely and throwing the old one away.

"Young ears," she reminded, but looked up at him in wonder. "How do you know how to do all of this?"

"I helped to take care of my sisters," he said simply, then lifted up Ichiro. "There you go, little man. All clean."

"Clee?" Ichiro asked.

Ichigo ruffled his hair affectionately. "Yes, clean. Come on, I think it's time for lunch." He began to walk into the kitchen.

Rukia watched the whole thing, a smile on her face. _Ichigo would be a good father._

She followed into the kitchen. She was going to ask what was for lunch, but stopped when she saw Ichigo looking in the opposite direction.

There, in the Kurosaki kitchen, stood Matsumoto Rangiku and Hitsugaya Toshiro.

"How'd you get in my house?" Ichigo demanded.

"Where'd you get that baby?" Matsumoto countered.

Ichigo looked like a dying fish, his mouth gaping, but no words coming out. Matsumoto laughed. "I'm just kidding! I know all about this cute little thing!" She rushed to take Ichiro, and once he was in her arms, he patted her enormous breasts. She laughed again. "Well he seems to know what _those_ are!"

"How do you guys know?" Ichigo demanded, his voice finally returning. No one answered. Matsumoto giggled at Ichiro's antics and Hitsugaya watched with his stoic stare. "Hey! Toshiro!"

"It's Hitsugaya-taicho," Hitsugaya said angrily, his silence broken.

Ichigo seemed to ignore him. "Rangiku-san?"

"There's no milk in there," Matsumoto told Ichiro, who still seemed fascinated with her breasts. "Possibly some money. Do you like money?"

"I have important business here," Hitsugaya finally told him. "We ran into your friend Sado."

"Seems you put that outfit I bought you to good use," Matsumoto said, winking at Rukia.

"What outfit?" Ichigo asked, perplexed.

Rukia turned beet red. That horrible gift she had given her, the one that had made her so embarrassed, she couldn't even return it for risk of humiliation. Let's just say there was hardly any _outfit_ to that outfit. She ended up setting it on fire, and she tried flushing it down the toilet when the flames seemed to get out of control. It clogged the toilet for a week, but that's an entirely different story.

"It doesn't matter. _I returned it_," she stressed to Matsumoto.

Matsumoto pouted. "Well, I bought this little guy some outfits too. I couldn't help myself, they were _so_ cute. Don't worry, I have the receipt in case you want to return _those_ too." Matsumoto set Ichiro on the floor and began rooting through the many bags she had brought with her.

"What's your business here, Toshiro?" Ichigo asked, yawning. Ichiro began crawling around the room.

"Hitsugaya-taicho," he replied, annoyed.

Matsumoto was still looking for the receipt. "Taicho, do you know where I put it?"

He sighed. "I don't know. Where you usually put things?"

Matsumoto thought for a second, then reached deep in her cleavage. When the receipt was received, she handed it to Rukia, who took it without a second thought. Sadly, she was used to this kind of behavior from Matsumoto.

"You talked to Chad. Do you know what's going on with Ichiro?" Ichigo asked.

Hitsugaya raised his eyebrows. "Ichiro?"

"Rukia named him. Why does he look like us? Why is no one missing him?"

"Daddy." Ichiro was in front of Ichigo's feet, looking up at him. Ichigo pointed at him, wordlessly adding that offense to the list of questions.

"That's so cute!" Matsumoto cooed. She picked up Ichiro again and began to change him into one of the outfits she bought.

"I don't know," Hitsugaya said coolly, but suddenly stopped talking.

Karin had walked into the room. "Geez, what is this, a party?" Her face lit up noticeably when she saw Hitsugaya. She walked over to him. "Toshiro! What are you doing here?" she greeted him.

Hitsugaya didn't answer her, but the corners of his mouth turned slightly upward.

"Aren't you going to correct her, _Hitsugaya-taicho_?" Ichigo teased, but Hitsugaya just sent him a cold glare.

"I was just going to play soccer. You want to come?" Karin asked him, putting on her baseball cap. "Our team could really use your help."

"I guess I could help for a little while," he said, following her out the door. On her way out, Karin shook her head at Ichiro, who Matsumoto had dressed in a tiger suit.

"Didn't he have something important to do?" Ichigo wondered out loud. Matsumoto giggled and Rukia smiled a knowing smile.

* * *

"Why are you here again?" Ichigo asked Matsumoto, who was, for some reason, accompanying them to Urahara's.

"Well, I've already been shopping, and I have to wait for Taicho. Besides, I wouldn't miss this for anything." Matsumoto sighed longingly, glancing down at Ichiro in his stroller. "I love a good mystery."

They continued the rest of the way in silence, the only things heard the wind and Ichiro's baby talk. Jinta was the first to see them when they entered. His eyes widened when he saw the sight in front of him, and he frantically called Ururu. "Go get the freeloader!" he yelled.

Ichigo crossed his arms, annoyed. "Is Urahara-san here? Yoruichi-san?"

"Maaaybe," Jinta replied, picking his nose nonchalantly. He really could be gross sometimes.

"Well, could you please get them?!" Ichigo snorted, not in the mood for games.

"No need, Kurosaki-san." Urahara was suddenly there, smiling pleasantly. He looked at Ichiro, his eyes widening. "Oh my," he said, grinning behind a fan that appeared out of nowhere. "Someone made an oopsie."

"We didn't _make_ him, we _found_ him," Rukia said wearily, "and we want you to tell us what is going on." She lifted Ichiro out of his stroller and held him out to Urahara, who instead of taking him, inspected him closely.

"What's going on?" Yoruichi appeared, yawning and seemingly dressed only in her underwear.

"Put some clothes on!" yelled Ichigo.

Modesty was never Yoruichi's thing, and she certainly had no shame. "Hell no, this is my house," she replied.

Ichigo waited for Urahara to remind her that, no, it was actually _his_ house, and she was a guest (a reoccurring one, he'd give her that), but Urahara said nothing.

It was clear who the dominant one was in _that_ relationship.

Everyone sat down at the table. "I'm thirsty," Matsumoto moaned, pouting.

"Oh, how rude of me!" Urahara exclaimed, once again hiding behind the fan. "Is there anything I can get you?"

Matsumoto thought for a second, then clasped her hands together hopefully. "Have any sake?"

"Kitty!"

Everyone stopped talking and looked down at the baby in Rukia's arms. He was grinning, arms stretched out, his eyes locked on Yoruichi. They all watched as Ichiro said one word, over and over like a mantra.

"Kitty! Kitty!"

Yoruichi was clearly startled. "How did he—"

"Well, well," Urahara said brightly, finally deciding to take him from Rukia. "How interesting…"

Rukia felt as if there was a lump in her throat. "Now that you mention it, he recognized Sado too. He noticed him before we did."

Ichiro looked around the room with his wide violet eyes, wondering what all of the ruckus was about. His eyes settled on Ichigo. "Daddy?" he questioned him.

Ichigo suddenly felt like someone was playing a trick on him. Who was this kid, and why did he seem to know all of them?

All at once, the soul pagers went off, signaling a Hollow. Rukia popped a soul candy, discarding her gigai. "We'll be right back," she told Urahara and Yoruichi, pushing Ichigo and Matusmoto towards the door.

Ichigo climbed out of his body, and Matsumoto whined about how she didn't want to go, putting her gigai in a corner. It was silent once the three left.

* * *

A/N: And the drama continues! Next chapter, the big reveal. What is revealed, you ask? You'll have to read to find out.

Don't forget to review!


	4. Chapter 4

Hi guys! Once again, the reviews helped a lot. Thank you so much! **Neko.Writer**, I would be honored if you told other people about my stories, and of course you can be Ichiro's first fangirl! (Maybe you should start a club!)

This is where the story gets strange. I hope this chapter doesn't come out awkward. Oh well.

By the way, I don't own Bleach. If I did, Byakuya would be around more to "protect" Rukia from Ichigo. I never get sick of that storyline! :)

* * *

"What are you thinking, Kisuke?" Yoruichi asked, watching as Urahara lifted Ichiro's shirt in hopes of finding something unusual.

"Well, it seems he's not a Hollow." Urahara hummed to himself as he finished checking the rest of Ichiro's body. "I was kind of hoping that he was. There goes that hypothesis."

"What are the other ones?"

Urahara thought for a second, checking his mental list. "Spy. Alien. Maybe a ninja."

Yoruichi snorted. The sad thing was that he was probably serious. "What is this, a manga?"

Urahara smiled. "Oooh," he said to Ichiro, who looked up at him with big eyes, "kitty can bite."

* * *

"Five Hollows," Matsumoto groaned as they returned to Urahara Shoten. "I think I need a drink."

They all slipped back into their bodies and sat back down at the table where Urahara, Yoruichi, and the baby waited silently.

"You're a fukutaicho, a couple of second-rate Hollows shouldn't be so hard," Ichigo grunted in response, "and should you really be drinking when you're supposed to be on duty?"

"Taicho and I have the day off," she said nonchalantly. She looked expectantly at Urahara. "Do you still have that sake?"

Ichigo's forehead was furrowed in confusion. "Why are you here, then? I thought you said you had a job or something."

Rukia rolled her eyes. _Here we go._

"Taicho wanted to visit Karin-chan." Matsumoto knew exactly what she was setting into motion, and she was enjoying every second of it.

Rukia was startled when Ichigo continued to look completely in control. It was as if Matsumoto had remarked on the weather. "He told you that?" he asked, seemingly sane.

Matsumoto laughed. "Of course not. It was insanely obvious."

He looked at her with a straight face. "I am going to murder him," he said pleasantly.

"That's nothing compared to what Byakuya-kun's going to do to you," Yoruichi said suddenly. All eyes turned to her. She held Ichiro, who for some reason had Urahara's hat on his head. It was way too big, and it obscured his eyes.

"What do you mean?" Ichigo asked.

"Yeah, what about Nii-sama?" Rukia added worriedly.

"Well," said Urahara, seemingly wearing one of his spare hats, "we did some tests, and it seems that this little tyke is biologically your son."

Ichigo stared at Urahara like he suddenly had three heads, and Rukia couldn't understand what was going on. Matsumoto was in awe. "This is better than my soaps!" she squealed, wishing she had something to snack on.

Urahara continued his story, talking about this machine and that machine, basically spouting scientific mumbo jumbo that no one understood, although Matsumoto nodded as if she did. In the end, when everyone stared at Urahara stupidly, Yoruichi said, "He basically did a DNA test, and you both are perfect matches."

"How—how—how..." Rukia stuttered, her brain scrambling for an explanation. "I mean I was never … _we _never …"

Ichigo just looked at the table, not saying anything.

"I knew it!" Matsumoto pounded her fist on the table. "I knew there was more to your relationship! Just wait until I tell Nanao—she owes me 1000 yen…"

"Ichigo, you asshole!" Rukia seethed, suddenly angry. She seemed to have forgotten about Ichiro's "young ears". "You knocked me up!"

Ichigo didn't seem to notice Rukia's colorful choice of vocabulary. "He's going to bankai my ass," he huffed. "Do you know how ridiculously stupid it is to be killed by flower petals?"

"Very," Matsumoto chimed in.

"Congratulations!" Urahara sang, giving Ichigo his…ahem…son. "You have a bouncing baby boy!"

Suddenly, Renji appeared from the guest room. "I'm trying to sleep here!" he yelled, glaring at everyone in the room. After seeing Ichigo holding Ichiro, however, he was wide awake. "Wait—what did I miss?"

* * *

Ichigo stepped out of the shower, droplets of water clinging to his hair. He had spent a long time just standing under the stream of water, contemplating his current situation. In only a matter of days, he was suddenly thrust into fatherhood, and Ichigo wasn't really sure how he felt about it. On one hand, he was only seventeen. How the hell was he supposed to raise a kid? On the other hand, deep down he had known that Ichiro was theirs, and he had accepted it.

Distractedly, he threw on a pair of pajama bottoms and a t-shirt and headed towards his room, physically and mentally tired. All he really wanted was to sink into his bed, but he stopped in his tracks when he found Rukia in it.

She was sleeping, Ichiro curled up next to her. Ichigo stared stupidly for minute, then sighed and decided not to move them. He was too tired to argue with the hysterical voice in his head, and Rukia and the baby hardly took up any space anyway, so he turned out the light and climbed into the bed without a second thought. Hell, it was _his_ bed.

It was only then that he began to feel the awkwardness of the situation. He nervously peered over at Rukia, who was sleeping facing him. Her eyes were closed, and she had a hand over the sleeping baby between them.

Ichigo swallowed hard, quickly shutting his eyes before the voice in his head convinced him to sleep in the hallway. Or on the couch. Or maybe at Chad's house. _Holy shit_, Rukia was in his bed. With_ him_. Surely this was the kind of behavior that left them with a kid in the first place.

"Ichigo?"

Ichigo nearly fell out of his bed, he was so surprised. Rukia, apparently not asleep, was peering at him through the darkness. "I'm…I'm sorry, Ichigo."

"What for?" he asked, trying to calm his racing heart.

She seemed really distressed for a second, as if she was repulsed by herself. Rukia averted her eyes. "Well," she said, slightly quieter than before, "now you're stuck with me."

Ichigo sat up, thoroughly confused. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about this baby!" she hissed, suddenly pissed off and sitting up too. "What about him?" Ichigo hissed back, his confusion causing his temper to flair.

"He's bound you to me forever. Sorry you didn't have a choice." She started to turn away from him.

Ichigo grabbed her shoulders roughly, forcing her to look at him. "Who says I wouldn't choose _you_?" he barked at her, looking at her so intensely that she involuntarily shrunk back a little.

Rukia was silent, absorbing Ichigo's words. Suddenly, realizing what he just said, Ichigo ripped his hands off of her shoulders. He coughed awkwardly. "I mean…uh…good night," he said quickly, thoroughly embarrassed and thankful his blush couldn't be seen in the dark.

"Yes, good night," Rukia answered, equally embarrassed. They both laid back down, facing opposite directions and mentally kicking themselves.

* * *

A/N: Oooh, the sexual tension! Next chapter, Quincy-Shinigami Macho Showdown. Yeah...just read it.

You know you want to press that lovely review button. Give in to your urges!


	5. Chapter 5

Hey guys! The reviews were, once again, amazing! Thank you so much for showing interest in my work! I learned that a few of you were hoping Ichigo and Rukia would get busy. This fic _is_ rated T, people!

The story is really coming along. I think that it'll have two more chapters. The end is near!

I don't own Bleach. If I did, Gin would STOP SMILING. He is so _creepy_!

* * *

"What was it that you wanted to tell us?" Orihime asked through a mouthful of sandwich.

It was lunch at school, and the usual gang was sitting under a tree. Chad sat, stoic and Chad-like, Uryu was sewing some sort of pattern, and Orihime was stuffing her face.

Rukia told them the whole story, sort of surprised that Chad hadn't told the rest of them. Then again, Chad wasn't very talkative. "So now we have a son," she concluded, the words sounding foreign even to her.

Orihime's jaw dropped open in shock, causing her the sandwich she was chewing to fall out of her mouth and onto the grass. Uryu picked it up with a napkin in an attempt to save her dignity, but Orhime didn't even realize she had dropped her food. "Really?" she almost shouted, still spitting food.

"Yeah," Ichigo answered, scratching the back of his head. "He's with my dad right now. Dad was ecstatic to be babysitting his 'first grandchild.'" He sighed. If only Isshin knew how right he was.

"Wow," Uryu stated, genuinely surprised. "I didn't think that Ichigo had it in him."

Ichigo turned bright red. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?!" he yelled, standing up.

Ishida looked bored, finishing his hemming. "It means that you can hardly talk to girls as it is. I'm surprised that you managed to put the moves on Kuchiki-san."

Ichigo was almost purple at this point. "He says while sewing a dress," he roared. "Stand up so I can kick your fucking ass."

"For your information, it's a cape," Uryu retorted, standing up and meeting Ichigo's glare, "and I'd like to see you try."

Rukia rolled her eyes and Chad stood between the Shinigami and the Quincy to make sure nothing physical would actually happen.

"Congratulations," Orihime whispered, forcing herself to smile. If anyone had been paying attention to her, they could have literally heard her heart breaking.

Tatsuki appeared with her lunch and sat next to Orihime. "They are _always_ fighting," she commented, watching the scene in front of them.

"You're manly, okay?" Rukia was telling Ichigo sarcastically. "Now will you sit the hell down?"

"Shut up," Ichigo spat at her, "this is between me and this pansy."

"Pansy. Clever." Uryu sat down, once again bored, and continued sewing his…cape.

"What did you just say to me?!" Rukia punched him in the stomach, and Ichigo keeled over in pain.

"It seems that Team Ishida has switched players," Tatsuki commented. "My money's on Kuchiki."

Orihime wasn't paying any attention to her. "Are you okay, Orihime?" Tatsuki asked. "You haven't even finished your first sandwich. Usually you're on the third one by now."

Orihime looked at Ichigo and Rukia, a sad smile on her face, and Tatsuki followed her gaze. Rukia was holding Ichigo's arm behind his back at an extremely awkward angle, and Ichigo was screaming obscenities.

"They really love each other, don't they?" Orihime finally said, and Tatsuki understood.

* * *

Isshin wasn't stupid. He knew that the little boy he held in his lap was his own flesh and blood. Hell, Ichiro called him Poppy. This was without a doubt his grandchild.

He was confused about _why_ he was holding his grandchild. Ichigo still hadn't admitted that he had feelings for Rukia, not even to himself, and Rukia was so small that it would have been obvious if she had been pregnant.

Isshin sighed. He had known when Rukia first began living in Ichigo's closet. He had known when she was taken away to Soul Society—Ichigo's emotions just made it more obvious. He knew when the two of them went off to fight Hollows.

To them, he was the insane, oblivious dad. Even though Isshin knew more than people gave him credit for, he would continue to play that part. For now, he would just enjoy spending time with his grandson.

* * *

When they got home that evening (after fighting a couple of Hollows), Ichigo and Rukia found Isshin reading a book to Ichiro.

Rukia smiled, the sight warming her heart. "What are you reading to him?" she asked Isshin.

"_Modern Medicine_," Isshin answered seriously.

Ichigo rolled his eyes. "Shouldn't you read something more kid-friendly? I'm sure we have some nursery rhymes or something around here."

Isshin laughed. "I didn't pick this, he did. Pointed right at it." He patted Ichiro on the head. "He's going to be a smart kid."

Rukia held her arms out. "Thank you, Kurosaki-san. We can take him off of your hands now."

Isshin sighed. "Oh, Rukia-chan, I told you to call me 'daddy'," he complained, making Ichigo roll his eyes again. "It's okay, I have him. We've been having fun. You guys go eat dinner."

Ichigo shrugged and then walked towards the kitchen. Rukia trailed him.

"I feel like I'm such a bad mother," Rukia said softly enough that only Ichigo could hear her.

He stopped and turned around to look at her. "What are you talking about?"

"Well, your dad has been taking care of him all day. I feel like one of those irresponsible teen mothers that just drops her kid off somewhere and then does what she wants."

Ichigo snorted. "You're not a teenager," he reminded her, "and you're not a bad mother. Besides, my dad _wants_ to spend time with him." He continued walking to the kitchen, thus ending the discussion.

Karin was already at the table and Yuzu was setting places for them. "Welcome home, Nii-chan, Rukia-chan!" Yuzu beamed, hurriedly filling their bowls with soup.

"Yo," he grunted, sitting down next to Karin.

After greeting Karin and Yuzu, Rukia sat down across from Ichigo. "We should take him somewhere," she pondered, still thinking about the previous conversation. "The park! After dinner."

"You have a history paper due tomorrow," Ichigo said around his food. "You should have started on it when I told you. I'm already done."

Rukia glared at him, kicking him underneath the table. "I want to take Ichiro to the park," she said through her teeth.

Ichigo shook his head. "I'm not helping you this time. You're not going to keep _me_ up all night again."

"You take him then, Ichi-nii," Karin interrupted. "At least that way he'll still get to go."

Ichigo nodded. It was better than watching Rukia do her homework.

* * *

A/N: Next chapter--the mystery is finally solved! Where did Ichiro come from? How does he know everyone? _Why does Ichigo have a moustache?_

Continue reading to find out!


	6. Chapter 6

Hello again! This is what all of you have been waiting for--the answer! If you knew how this story would go before you read this chapter, kudos to you! I don't want to waste time babbling, so here we go!

I don't own Bleach. If I did, it would have more "Ichigo saves Rukia's life in Soul Society" moments. Seriously, it doesn't matter how many times I see that episode, I squeal with joy every time!

* * *

"ARRGH!" Rukia yelled in frustration. She did not like homework, especially when there were more interesting things she could be doing instead. She threw her history book at a wall. It bounced off and plopped onto the floor with a satisfying thud.

She should be with Ichiro, not doing human busy work! Rukia sighed, leaning back in Ichigo's chair.

"There you are. Geez, I've been looking all over for you."

She whirled around. Ichigo was standing behind her, his arms crossed. Rukia hadn't even felt him coming.

"What are you talking about?" she snapped, angry for being startled.

"We have to find them. Come on." He looked different somehow. Slightly taller.

"Find who?" She struggled to figure out what about him was bothering her.

"Real funny, Rukia." He was getting annoyed, and it was showing in his voice. "Let's go." Ichigo hoisted her out of the chair by her arm, trying to lead her out of the room.

Rukia resisted, planting her feet. Ichigo looked back at her incredulously. "What's the matter with you? We don't have time for games, Rukia."

She continued to look at him, probing her mind to find what was bothering her. His clothes were different. He had been wearing a t-shirt and jeans, but now he was wearing sweatpants and a black hoodie. Her eyes traveled up his body, noticing that his hair was slightly longer and…

"Since when are you growing a moustache?" Rukia demanded.

Ichigo dropped her arm, his eyes squinting in fury. "This again?! Why can't you just let it go?" he yelled.

Rukia initially took a step back at the outburst, but soon boiled over with rage. "Don't you yell at me!" she yelled back.

Ichigo growled. "Jesus, you'd think that I would win one time. _One time!_ Fine, Rukia. You win. I'll shave it off. Are you happy now?!"

"I was only asking—"

"I swear, you are a pain in my ass! Remember, you told me no sex until I shaved it. Well I'm shaving it, so there better be sex. Lots of it!"

Rukia was silent, her eyes wide and her mouth open in shock.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" He glared at her reaction. She just stared.

His face softened as realization dawned. "Oops," he breathed, the anger completely gone. "Well this is awkward."

* * *

Ichiro squealed as he raced down the slide. He laughed when Ichigo caught him at the bottom. "Daddy."

Ichigo knew what he wanted; he set him back at the top of the slide and let him go. He caught him again. Ichiro never seemed to tire of it.

"Well, this was easy."

Ichigo turned around. Rukia stood behind him, a smug look on her face.

"What are you doing here?" he asked tiredly. "You can't have finished your paper already."

"I'm looking for you." Her eyes settled on Ichiro. "And him."

"Go finish your paper, Rukia. I told you, I'm not helping." He headed for the swings.

"Ichigo, look at me."

Ichigo did turn and look at her. Like she was _crazy_.

Rukia rolled her eyes. She had expected that this wasn't going to be easy. "Don't I seem different to you, Ichigo?" she hinted.

Her hair was clipped up, and she had replaced her dress for a pretty blouse and a nice pair of slacks. Something else was different, something that he couldn't put his foot on.

"Where'd you get the clothes?" he asked suspiciously. Rukia was acting really strange…

"You bought them for me," she stated patiently, watching confusion cross his face.

"Have you been taking money out of my wallet again?" His eyes narrowed. "Oh well. At least you didn't buy more of that bunny shit."

Rukia lost her cool. "Chappy is not _shit_," she yelled, pointing a finger in his face. "And no, I did not _take_ your money. I'm from the future, dumbass! I'm here to take back my baby."

There was silence. Finally, Ichigo cleared his throat. "I think that you need some sleep. Maybe I _should_ help you with that paper."

"Forget the paper." Rukia grabbed Ichigo's hand, starting to lead him back to their house. "Let's go."

He let himself be led for a couple steps, but soon retrieved his hand. "Kuchiki Rukia, you must be out of your mind if you think I'm going to believe—"

"Kurosaki," she interrupted, her violet eyes meeting his amber ones.

"What? Since when do you call me—?"

"My name. Kurosaki." She held out her hand for him to shake, which Ichigo just stared at. "Kurosaki Rukia. Nice to meet you."

Ichigo gaped at her, and Rukia once again took his hand, this time with no resistance from him. "You may be a dumbass," she smirked, pulling him home, "but you're _my_ dumbass."

* * *

A/N: Ha Ha! Lots of you saw this coming, but I know I still shocked some of you. I know it was a little short, but I didn't want one giant chapter, and this was the only logical place that I could stop the flow of the story. Don't worry, next chapter EVERYTHING is revealed.

Next (and final!) chapter: the answer to the question "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!"


	7. Chapter 7

Hey guys! Well, this fic has finally come to a close. I'm really happy that so many people read it! It feels good to know that people like the craziness that spews out of my head. :) Please take time to tell me what you thought of the story as a whole; I'd really appreciate it. Once again, thanks for reading and reviewing. The ride has been fun. Enjoy.

I don't own Bleach. If I did, it would never end; the story would continue through the rest of Ichigo's life and afterword. Or, if it did end, there would be some sort of reunion special.

* * *

They sat on Ichigo's bed, the baby in Rukia's arms. The sight in front of them was too weird for either to comprehend.

It was _them_. Older, but it was still them.

"What has Ichigo—my Ichigo—told you?" Future Rukia asked Rukia, sitting down in the office chair across from them.

Rukia cleared her throat, slightly embarrassed. "He just raved on about his moustache and shaving it and how I owe him sex."

Both Ichigos blushed. Future Rukia turned to Future Ichigo, malice in her eyes. "Why would you say that to me?!"

"She looks _just_ like you," Future Ichigo retorted, averting his gaze. "I got confused, okay?"

"_Confused?_" Future Rukia spat. "How can you not notice that _she was_ _doing homework? _You just scarred me for life!"

The two continued to argue. Ichigo and Rukia just sat there, not really sure what to do. Finally, Future Rukia kicked Future Ichigo in the shin and turned to the two. "I should probably explain to you what's going on," she said to them, ignoring Future Ichigo's howls of pain.

"That would be nice," Ichigo muttered under his breath. Both Rukias gave him a dirty look.

"As I told you before, Ichigo," Future Rukia started, "we are from the future. We are you, just ten years from now."

"Ten years," Rukia breathed, giving…herself a once-over. "I look pretty good."

"I know." Future Rukia looked smug, and the Ichigos rolled their eyes. "Anyway, we came back in time to reclaim our baby. Well, I guess he's _yours_ too. Hmm, this is kind of confusing."

"How did you guys come back in the first place?" Ichigo asked suddenly.

"Urahara-san," Future Ichigo stated simply, and it seemed no further explanation was needed.

"How did your kid end up here?" Ichigo demanded.

The future couple shared a glance. "We sent him here," Future Rukia finally answered.

"Why would you send your child into the past by himself?" Rukia almost yelled. "What is wrong with you?! He was almost killed by a Hollow!"

"We know," Future Ichigo muttered, and Future Rukia cleared her throat uncomfortably.

Rukia felt disgusted with herself. "I _am_ a bad mother," she whispered, holding a sleeping Ichiro closer to her.

Ichigo had a tortured look on his face. He tentatively placed his arm around her, and she unconsciously leaned into him.

Future Rukia smiled. "This is exactly why we did it," she said, looking up at Future Ichigo.

Ichigo glared at her. "What?" he snarled.

"This experience was what brought us together." While she looked only slightly embarrassed, Future Ichigo looked like he didn't even want to be in the room. He fidgeted, putting weight on one foot, then the other.

Rukia's eyes went wide and Ichigo slowly dropped his arm.

"It took unexpected parenthood and meeting my future self to make me realize that I loved Ichigo," Future Rukia said, waiting for her husband to chime in. When he didn't, she poked him in the side.

Future Ichigo sighed. "I already loved Rukia," he said reluctantly. "It just took this experience for me to admit it."

Rukia and Ichigo were silent, not looking at each other. Rukia instead looked down at the baby in her arms. "What's his name?" she asked, not looking up.

"Ichiro," Future Rukia answered, making Rukia look up in surprise. "That's what I named him when I first met him, so that's who he was when he was finally born."

There was silence once again. It seemed that Ichigo and Rukia had no more questions.

"Well, while we're here," Future Ichigo started, "I might as well give myself some advice."

"Let's start with _not_ scaring the crap out of me," Future Rukia said icily.

"I said I was sorry, okay?!" he said, looking at Rukia apologetically. "I really am," he told her.

"It's okay," Rukia replied. "You almost lost a body part, though."

Future Ichigo winced. "You will want to grow a moustache," he told Ichigo. "Don't do it. Trust me."

"I refuse to kiss you like that," Future Rukia added pointedly to Ichigo, making him blush. "It feels like sandpaper. What else could I…oh! Inoue will try to get you to eat sardine wasabi ice cream," she told Rukia. "Don't. I was throwing up for a solid week."

"Inoue," Future Ichigo sighed. "Yeah, that whole situation was kind of…awkward. Just remember to let her down easy."

"Oh, and Nii-sama!" Future Rukia suddenly remembered. She looked meaningfully at Ichigo. "Don't worry about him. He doesn't really want to kill you."

"Says you!" scoffed Future Ichigo. He turned to his younger self. "Run. That's all I have to say."

"You're such an ass, Ichigo," Future Rukia hissed, causing the two to bicker once again. Anyone who didn't know better would wonder why the two married in the first place.

Finally, when it seemed that Future Rukia had won the argument again, Future Ichigo looked at his watch. "It's time to go," he told his wife, suddenly serious.

Future Rukia nodded, then looked at her past self. "We have to take him back now," she said, glancing at the sleeping baby. Ichiro could apparently sleep through anything.

Rukia nodded, but Ichigo noticed that she didn't release her secure hold on the child.

"Rukia," he said gently.

She looked at him in a surprised daze, as if she hadn't noticed he was sitting beside her. Then, running her fingers through her son's orange mop of hair, Rukia kissed Ichiro on the forehead and reluctantly handed him to Ichigo.

Ichigo held Ichiro in front of him, trying to memorize every detail. The violet eyes slowly opened and peered at him.

"Daddy," Ichiro sighed, smiling contentedly and closing his eyes again.

Ichigo hugged him, giving a rare smile. "Here," he said, his voice sounding strange. He placed Ichiro in Future Rukia's hands.

"Remember what we said," Future Rukia said, handing Ichiro to Future Ichigo. "This experience brought us together. If you don't send Ichiro back in time ten years from now, he could disappear entirely. If we never get together, he is never born."

"So the cycle never ends," Ichigo stated. "We time-travel for all of eternity."

Future Ichigo scratched his head. "I never thought of it that way."

Future Rukia rolled her eyes. "Baka, you just did."

Future Ichigo glared at her. "We don't have time for this, Rukia."

"You're right." She looked meaningfully at Ichigo and Rukia. "Remember what we said," she said, grabbing Future Ichigo's hand and leading him to the window. Then, they jumped into the night, taking Ichiro with them.

"I kind of like the look of a moustache," Ichigo murmured to himself.

* * *

Ichigo and Rukia walked down to breakfast the next morning looking extremely tired.

"You guys look like you didn't sleep at all," Yuzu said worredly.

"Helped with that paper, huh, Ichi-nii?" Karin smirked, chewing the food that Yuzu had already put in front of her.

Ichigo grunted and sat down next to Rukia. Yuzu served them both breakfast.

"Good morning, my loving family!" Isshin sang, bounding into the kitchen.

No one acknowledged his presence. Isshin frowned, debating whether or not he should make a big fuss complete with waterworks, but noticed one less person in the kitchen. "Where is our little bundle of joy?" he asked dramatically.

Karin looked around. "Yeah, now that you mention it…"

"His parents came to pick him up last night, Kurosaki-san," Rukia said matter-of-factly, delicately sipping her orange juice.

"Oh, what a tragedy! My first grandchild is gone!" Isshin said loudly, causing Ichigo to wince. "It's a good thing I have this picture of him."

All attention went to the picture in his hand. Ichiro was snuggled in bed—right in between Ichigo and Rukia, who faced each other. Ichigo's arm was slung over Rukia's waist and his mouth was open in a silent snore.

All of the color drained from Ichigo's face. "Where did you get that!?" he roared, lunging for the photo.

Isshin maneuvered away from his grasp easily. "I took it, of course. Don't worry, Daddy made lots of copies. You can each have one, if you want."

Ichigo continued to chase his father around the room. Rukia pretended that the photo didn't exist.

"I was thinking about blowing it up and hanging it next to Mommy," Isshin sniffed, plastering himself to the giant Masaki poster. "Oh, Masaki, our grandson is _gone_!"

While Ichigo gave his father a beat down, the girls finished their breakfast, ignoring the Isshin's cries. Finally, Rukia got up and pulled Ichigo off of his father by the collar of his shirt. "Time for school, Ichigo," she said merrily, dragging him through the front door.

She didn't let him go until they were a block away.

"I can't believe him!" Ichigo fumed, the tips of his ears still pink. "Crazy old man, taking pictures of people when they sleep."

Rukia didn't respond, just stared at him.

"Who knows how many copies he made! Shit, now I'll have to find every one of them and—"

"You _love_ me, Kurosaki Ichigo?"

Her words stopped him dead in his tracks. He turned to her, a surprised look on his face. "What?"

She smiled smugly, her violet eyes dancing. "You do, don't you?"

Ichigo looked cornered. He fidgeted, staring at the ground and scratching his head. Finally, seeming to have found his resolve, he looked at her with a determined look on his face.

"I love you, Rukia," Ichigo said, his amber eyes burning into her soul.

Even though she knew, hearing him say it was completely different. Rukia ripped her eyes away from his penetrating ones. "I love you too, Ichigo," she replied nonchalantly, willing her heart to beat at a reasonable pace. She began walking again. "Come on, we're going to be late."

Neither of them was one for public displays of affection, but when their hands found each other, they figured that this one time wouldn't kill them.

"You do realize that we're going to have to tell Nii-sama," Rukia said, breaking the silence.

Ichigo balked. "_Hell no!_"

Rukia huffed. "Don't be a baby, Ichigo."

"Don't be a bitch, Rukia."

"What did you call me?!" she yelled, crushing his fingers in her grasp.

And thus, their story began.

Nothing changed. They put themselves in harm's way to help each other. Rukia drew (badly) and Ichigo made fun of her. Rukia hit Ichigo. They fought (a lot). More than ever, no one understood their relationship.

Well, maybe there was _one_ difference. A hidden pocket in Ichigo's wallet held a picture of a sleeping boy and girl and a baby that would be born nine years later.

* * *

A/N: So, what did you think? Go on, press that pretty blue review button. Was there anything that you didn't particularly like? Something that I could improve? Go on, you know you want to!

By the way, you haven't seen the last of me. I'll post something new when inspiration strikes. Until then, read all of my fics and, if you liked them, recommend them to others. Thanks for your support!


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